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What to Write on a Funeral Flowers Card (And What Actually Fits)
What to Write on a Funeral Flowers Card For Families
My name is Siobhan. We get this call a few times a week at our Pottsville office. Someone rings to order sympathy flowers, they have already picked the arrangement and given us their card details, and then the pause comes. A long one. "I don't know what to write on the card." You can hear the sadness in it, and the panic underneath, because nobody wants to say the wrong thing to a grieving family.
Anna spent fifteen years as a working florist before she joined us, and she has talked hundreds of callers through that exact pause. She says the same thing every time: keep it short, be honest, and stop worrying about perfection. The family is not grading your grammar. They just want to know you cared enough to send something.
The Card Is Smaller Than You Think
The card that comes tucked into a flower arrangement is not a greeting card. Business card sized. Maybe slightly larger. If you are ordering online through Lily's Florist, the card message field allows up to 250 characters, which is about two sentences. Maybe three if they are short ones.
"Two hundred and fifty characters is less than two text messages. People try to write a paragraph and then ring us frustrated because it got cut off. Who are you, what did this person mean to you, and are you thinking of the family? If you can get those three things into two sentences, the card does its job. I have never once heard a family say a card message was too short."
This is different from a standalone sympathy card, the kind you post to the family home with a stamp. That card can be a full page. You can write a letter in it. The little enclosure card with the flowers has one job: tell the family who sent these and carry a brief, genuine sentiment. If you are still working out which type of flowers to send, our guide on the difference between sympathy and funeral flowers covers that.
Most online guides mix the two together and list messages that would never physically fit on the card that actually arrives with the flowers.
What to Write, by Relationship
The right message depends on how you knew the person who passed. Anna's advice from years of helping callers: match the message to the relationship. A formal verse for your best mate's dad sounds wrong. So does a casual one-liner for a colleague you barely knew.
Close Family
If you are the spouse, child, parent, or sibling, your card goes on the main tribute. Keep it simple. "Forever in our hearts, Mum." or "Rest now, Dad. We love you." The flowers carry the weight. The words just need to be yours.
Extended Family
"Thinking of you all during this sad time. With love, the Mitchell family." Warm, brief, and signed with your surname so they know exactly who it is from.
Close Friend
Personal is better than formal. One specific memory in one sentence lands harder than three lines of sympathy. "I will miss our Thursday coffees, Margaret. Love, Sarah." Use their name. Use yours.
Work Colleague
"With deepest sympathy from the team at [Company]." Do not pretend a closer relationship than existed. Respectful and clear, signed with the group name rather than a list of individual names.
You Did Not Know the Deceased
You are supporting your friend or colleague, not eulogising someone you never met. "Thinking of you and your family. With sympathy, [Your name]." Honest, kind, enough.
Sending From Interstate
"We wish we could be there. Sending love from Brisbane. David and Sarah." This acknowledges the distance without apologising for it. The flowers are doing the being-there part for you.
Always sign with your full name. First and last. At a large funeral there might be three Sarahs and two Davids. "Sarah Mitchell" is identifiable. "Sarah" is a guessing game for a grieving family trying to write thank you cards weeks later.
What Not to Write
Nobody gets this wrong on purpose. These phrases come from a genuine place. But Anna has gently steered callers away from all of them at one point or another, because they can land differently than intended when someone is deep in grief.
"Everything happens for a reason."
Implies the death served a purpose. To a parent who has lost a child or a spouse who lost a partner suddenly, there is no reason that makes sense. It can feel like you are assigning blame to the universe on their behalf.
"I know how you feel."
You do not, even if you have experienced your own loss. Grief is specific to the person and the relationship. This phrase centres your experience over theirs.
"At least they lived a long life."
Minimises the loss by reframing it as acceptable. A long life does not make losing someone hurt less. Anna has heard callers use this thinking it would comfort, and it almost never does.
"Be strong."
Implies grief is weakness. The family needs permission to fall apart, not instructions to hold it together. A card telling someone to be strong can feel like pressure on the worst day of their life.
"They're in a better place."
Assumes a religious belief the family may not share. Even for families who do believe it, the timing matters. In the first days of grief, the only place the family wants that person is here.
"Let me know if you need anything."
Too vague to act on. A grieving person will not pick up the phone and ask for help. "I will bring dinner Thursday" or "I am picking up the kids Monday" gives them something concrete to lean on.
What Works
"I am so sorry for your loss."
"Thinking of you and your family."
"We will miss [Name] very much."
"With love and sympathy."
"[Name] meant so much to us."
"I will drop off dinner on Thursday."
That said, if the card is the little one tucked into the flowers, you probably do not have room for a specific offer like bringing dinner. Save that for a phone call or a separate sympathy card posted to the home.
On religious references: use them if you know the family shares the faith. "May God grant you peace" is comforting to a family who believes it. It can land oddly with a family who does not. Anna has had callers ask her to include Bible verses that would not fit in 250 characters even if you shrunk the font. If you are not sure about the family's beliefs, "thinking of you" carries no risk and still says what needs saying.
When the Funeral Follows a Different Tradition
We take calls from people navigating funeral customs they have never encountered before. A non-Greek colleague sending flowers to a Greek Orthodox service. Someone who has never been to Sorry Business, wanting to show respect but unsure what belongs on the card.
"I have had callers spend ten minutes agonising over whether their message is culturally appropriate, and I get it, that respect is the right instinct. But I have also seen people overthink it to the point where they do not send anything at all. A genuine 'thinking of you and your family' has never once caused offence in any tradition I have come across. If you are worried about the flowers themselves, call us. The card message is the easier part."
Greek Orthodox
Flowers are welcomed, particularly wreaths and crosses in white. Cards are collected by the funeral director and passed to the family. A respectful, slightly formal tone works well.
Chinese & Vietnamese Australian
White and yellow chrysanthemums are traditional. Avoid red flowers entirely (red signals happiness and celebration). Keep the card message restrained and respectful.
Jewish
Orthodox traditions generally do not include flowers. A sympathy card sent to the home, or food brought during Shiva, is more appropriate. If unsure, check with a family contact before ordering.
Muslim
Varies by family. Some welcome simple arrangements, others prefer no flowers. Roses and white flowers tend to be safest. Confirm with the family or funeral home first.
Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander Sorry Business
Sorry Business is the mourning period and cultural obligations following a death. Practices vary widely between communities. Many Aboriginal communities do not speak the deceased's name or show their image for a period after death, as a sign of respect and to support the spirit's journey.
If you are writing a card, consider addressing the family rather than naming the person who has passed, unless you know the family's preferences. "Thinking of you and your family during this sad time" avoids any misstep.
Secular Celebration of Life
Increasingly common across Australia. More relaxed in tone. Your card can match that: "What a life. We will miss that laugh." Colourful flowers are often as welcome as traditional whites.
If you are still choosing the flowers themselves and want guidance by tradition, our guide on what kind of flowers to send to a funeral covers that in more detail. For logistics and timing, see how to send flowers to a funeral.
Your Words Outlast the Flowers
The flowers will last a week, maybe two if the family keeps up the water. The card lasts years. Families collect every card from every arrangement after the service and put them in a box or a drawer. Weeks later, months later, sometimes on a particularly hard evening, they go back and read them all again.
I know this because we have had families contact us about it. Not to complain, not to reorder, just to tell us that the card from a particular arrangement meant something. Andrew and I have been running this business since 2006 and those calls still catch me off guard a bit.
"Families ring back months after a funeral sometimes, wanting to know who sent a particular arrangement, because the card meant something to them. The petals are long gone by then. The words stay. That is why I tell callers not to rush it, even if the card is small. Those ten words might be the ones someone re-reads on a hard Tuesday in six months."
Who Do You Address the Card To?
This trips people up more than the message itself.
Flowers going to the funeral home or service: The delivery is addressed using the deceased's name (so the funeral director knows which service it is for). The card message inside is for the family to read.
Flowers going to the family home: Address the delivery to the closest surviving relative and their family. "Mrs. Susan Smith and family" or simply "The Smith Family."
Signing from a group: Use the group name. "Your friends at Henderson & Co" or "The Saturday Netball Girls." Do not try to list fifteen names on a card the size of your palm. If the group wants individual recognition, buy a separate sympathy card with enough room for everyone to sign it, and ask the funeral director to pass it to the family alongside the flowers.
Sympathy Flowers for Same Day Delivery
All available for same day delivery Australia-wide when ordered before 2pm weekdays, 10am Saturdays. Our team can help with your card message over the phone on 1300 360 469 if you need it.
View our full range of sympathy flowers, funeral wreaths and sheaths, sympathy lilies, and Australian native sympathy flowers.
What Customers Say About Ordering Sympathy Flowers
Two reviews from our sympathy range that I keep coming back to, because they both mention the same thing: being guided. Sympathy orders are different from birthday flowers. People want a voice on the other end telling them they have picked well and that their card message sounds right.
Maria called in rather than ordering online. That is the pattern with sympathy orders. More callers, fewer purely online purchases, because the emotional weight of the occasion makes people want a real person on the line. Our team expects that. They are not rushing you off the phone.
All reviews sourced from Lily's Florist verified Feefo reviews. 22,800+ reviews across the network. Feefo Trusted Service Award 2024, 2025, and 2026.
You can also type your card message when ordering online. You have 250 characters. If it helps, write it somewhere else first, count the characters, and then paste it in. Phones and computers both have character counters in Notes apps. Or just keep it to two short sentences and you will be fine.
Anna told me once that the callers who agonise longest over the message almost always end up with something short. Six, maybe ten words. And those are the cards that families keep.
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