Sympathy Flowers: What to Send When You Don't Know What to Say
Sympathy flowers were some of the hardest orders we took in the Kingscliff flower shop days from 2006-2009. Not because they're technically difficult, but because every single one carried weight. Someone had died. A family was grieving. The flowers we sent had to get it right.
Tuesday arvo, 2008 - this woman comes in, maybe sixty-something, eyes all red. Her husband had just died, he had been sick for ages. She just stood there in front of the cooler, staring at the flowers. Ten minutes, easy. Didn't say anything. I was nervous, remember, I was not a florist, just someone that had an idea to sell gifts for baby's and a few flowers on the side. That said, I have 19 years experience now, running, at least now, an Australia-wide flower delivery business. Before stepping away from taking calls when my second daughter was born, Ivy, I had taken 10's of 1000's of calls for flowers, and I estimate, 1 in 5 were calls for sympathy.
I asked if she needed help and she goes, "I don't even know what I'm supposed to send. We were married for 42 years and I don't know what flowers to send."
Still think about that. People don't just need flowers when someone dies, they need someone to tell them what the hell they're meant to do. So here's what I picked up over the years about the different sympathy arrangements, what they're for, when you send them.
Below is an extensive list from my 19 years of experience. If you would like to see our entire range of sympathy flowers please click on the links below:
> See our entire sympathy range
Sympathy Bunches for the Family Home
When someone passes away, everyone ends up at the house. People dropping by all week, sitting around the kitchen table, that sort of thing. Sympathy flowers at the home - they're not just sitting there looking pretty, they fill up the space when everything feels pretty empty.
Our Florists Choice Sympathy Bunch at $74.50 became one of our most-sent arrangements for home deliveries. Florist's choice means exactly what it says, you're trusting the florist to use what's freshest and most appropriate. During our shop days, when someone ordered florist's choice for sympathy, we'd grab soft whites, gentle pinks, chuck in some eucalyptus. Nothing too bright that felt wrong, but not so heavy that it looked like a funeral home either. Remember, our partner florists will no what flowers to use based upon the card message you add with your flowers in the checkout of our website.
I'll never forget delivering one of these to a home in Casuarina. The daughter answered the door, took the flowers, and immediately started crying. Not sad crying, relieved crying. "Something beautiful," she said. "Finally something beautiful in this house." That's what sympathy bunches do for a home, they provide small moments of peace.
These bunches work well because they come in a vase or can be easily transferred to one. Grieving families don't have the energy to fuss with flower care. Everything needs to be simple, ready, done.
For perspective, this product is our 11th best-selling product overall this year so far, but the #1 sympathy/funeral product.
Bright Arrangements When They Lived Brightly
Not every life ends with somber white lilies. Some people lived in colour, laughed loudly, wore bright clothes, threw parties. For those people, sending traditional funeral flowers feels wrong.
Our Florists Choice Bright Mixed Bunch at $79.95 was our answer for celebrating lives rather than just mourning deaths. Gerberas, bright roses, cheerful colours. We'd get orders for these with card messages like "Nan would have hated boring flowers" or "Dad always said life was too short for white."
One order sticks with me. A surf lifesaver from Kingscliff had died suddenly, young guy, everyone knew him. His mates ordered bright mixed bunches for the service. Yellows, oranges, reds. The funeral was full of colour. His mum told us later it was exactly right. He'd lived in boardshorts and rashies, always in the sun, always smiling. White lilies would have been a lie.
Bright arrangements work best when you knew the person well enough to know they would have wanted colour. If you're unsure, ask the family. They'll tell you if their loved one was a "bright flowers" person or not.
Note: Whilst this is another Florists Choice bunch, this one errs on the side of bright, rather than neutral or white tones.
This is our #1 selling product in 2025 so far, across all categories.
Botanical Arrangements for Nature Lovers
Some people spent their lives in gardens, hiking trails, beach walks. They collected shells, grew vegetables, knew the names of native birds. For them, structured formal arrangements feel too contained.
Our popular Blissful Botanics Bunch - $80.75 - has that wild, just-picked-from-the-garden look. Loose stems, mixed textures, looks like someone's wandered through a field grabbing whatever caught their eye. Intentionally messy, which is exactly right for some people.
We had a customer order this for her father's funeral. He'd been a botanist, spent 40 years studying coastal flora around Northern NSW. The family wanted something that reflected his life's work. The botanical bunch, with its natural, unstructured beauty, felt like a tribute to his actual passions rather than generic funeral flowers.
If the person who died spent time outdoors, loved gardening, or talked about plants constantly, botanical arrangements honor that connection better than formal designs.
Whilst this is our 31st most popular product in 2025 so far, I chose it, as I personally love it, for any occasions and is my favourite.
Lilac and Lime for Something Different
Sometimes you want to send something that stands out without being loud. The Lovely Lilac & Lime Bunch at $80.75 does exactly that. It's unusual, purple and green isn't a typical sympathy colour combination, but it's beautiful and memorable.
I remember our 'work from home florist' making one of these for a woman whose best friend had died. She specifically didn't want pink or white, she said her friend hated those colours, always wore purple and green together, had her whole house decorated in those shades. When we delivered it to the funeral Tweed Lawn Cemetery, you could spot it immediately among all the traditional arrangements. We were told the family came up to her afterward asking who sent "the purple one" because it was so distinctively her.
This is the arrangement for when you want to honor someone's actual taste rather than following conventions. If they had a favorite colour, if they loved purple specifically, if they would have rolled their eyes at another white lily arrangement, this works.
For 2025 so far, this is our 10th most popular product. This is quite significant when you consider that both Valentine's & Mother's Days are included in that data set.
Soft and Traditional
Our Pink Carnation & White Roses Bunch at $80.75 is classic sympathy. Soft pink, pure white, gentle and appropriate for any funeral or memorial.
Carnations get a bad reputation sometimes, people think they're cheap or unimaginative. But carnations last longer than almost any other flower, which matters when the family's dealing with flowers sitting around for days or weeks. And the pink carnations with white roses - hits that balance where it's sympathy without being too heavy.
Back when we first started, we'd get someone on the phone asking for "something appropriate for a funeral" and we'd just... freeze up a bit." This combination became our safe answer. Gentle, respectful, traditional enough that nobody's going to raise an eyebrow, actually beautiful - like a proper tribute.
If you don't know what to send, if you weren't close to the deceased but want to acknowledge the loss, this type of arrangement communicates sympathy without overstepping.
This is our overall 45th most popular product so far in 2025, but ranks 5th in our sympathy category.
All White Everything
White is the traditional funeral colour for a reason. It represents peace, purity, innocence, reverence. The Gorgeous Whites Bunch at $80.75 gives you that classic sympathy statement.
All white arrangements photograph beautifully at funerals, they stand out among colourful flowers, they feel formal and respectful. White roses, white lilies, white carnations, sometimes white chrysanthemums.
One delivery I remember doing myself (this was when we were still small enough that I'd sometimes drive deliveries around the Tweed area) was an all-white arrangement to Murwillumbah. Catholic funeral, very traditional family, church service. The all-white arrangement fit the formality of the occasion. Sometimes you need flowers that match the gravity of the moment, that don't try to be cheerful or different, that simply acknowledge something sacred has happened.
These work especially well for religious services, very formal funerals, or when the deceased was elderly and lived a full life. They convey respect without presuming to celebrate.
This bouquet is our 21st overall, most popular product in 2025, but ranks 6th in our funeral and sympathy collections.
Oriental Lilies for Elegance
The Oriental Lilies Bunch at $80.75 brings elegance and often fragrance (though some people remove the pollen to reduce the scent). Oriental lilies are dramatic, large blooms that make a statement.
These became popular for sympathy orders from work colleagues or professional associates. The lilies convey respect and sympathy without being overly personal. They're formal enough for business relationships but still genuinely beautiful.
I remember taking an order from a law firm in Brisbane. One of their senior partners had died, they wanted to send something to the funeral that represented the firm appropriately. Oriental lilies struck that balance, impressive without being showy, elegant without being too intimate.
If you're sending flowers on behalf of a company, organization, or professional group, oriental lilies communicate appropriate respect.
This is our 33rd most popular bouquet in 2025 so far but ranks as one of my favourites. The scent of lilies are not for everyone, but for me, I just love them, no matter what the occasion.
If you love them as much as I do, you can find our entire range on the link below.
Sheaths for Coffin or Casket
Sheaths are larger, more formal arrangements designed to sit on or near the coffin. The Red Rose Sheath at $147.40 or Pink Rose Sheath at $147.40 are typically ordered by immediate family.
We didn't do many sheaths from the shop, most people ordered these directly through their funeral director. But when we did get orders, they were almost always from children saying goodbye to a parent. Red roses for someone who loved roses, who grew them in their garden, who always had a vase of them in the house. Pink roses for someone softer, gentler, someone who loved pastel colours.
Sheaths make a statement at the service. They're prominent, expensive, and deeply personal. You don't send a sheath unless you're family or had an extraordinarily close relationship with the deceased.
Wreaths for Lasting Tribute
Funeral wreaths like the White Funeral Wreath at $152.25 are circular, symbolizing eternal life and continuity. They're traditionally placed on stands at the service or graveside.
Wreaths are old-fashioned in the best way. They connect to traditions going back centuries. The circular shape, the careful construction, the formality of it all. When someone orders a wreath, they're participating in ritual, in something that connects them to everyone who has grieved before them.
The Wreath With Pink Tones at $152.25 or Wreath With White & Purple Tones at $152.25 give you options while maintaining that traditional form.
I only personally delivered one wreath during our shop days, it was going to a funeral in Tweed Heads. The weight of it, the careful way I had to carry it, the formality of handing it over, all of it felt significant. Wreaths carry weight, literally and symbolically.
> View all our wreaths and sheaths
Australian Natives for Local Connection
The Australian Native Arrangement at $136.30 works beautifully for people who loved this country, who spent time in the bush, who talked about protecting native landscapes.
Natives last longer than imported flowers, they're distinctive, they feel connected to place. For someone who lived their whole life in Australia, who loved the bush, who maybe worked in conservation or just appreciated our unique flora, native flowers honor that connection.
Living in Northern NSW all these years, surrounded by stunning native vegetation, we'd occasionally get requests for "only Australian flowers" at funerals. These arrangements celebrate someone's love for this country and its unique natural beauty.
In 2025 our natives arrangement is the 20th most popular product. Our bouquet of the same name is the 3rd most popular this year.
What I Learned About Sympathy Flowers
After years of taking these orders, making these arrangements, driving these deliveries, here's what I know: there's no perfect sympathy flower. There's only the flower that honors that specific person, acknowledges that specific loss, comforts that specific family.
The woman who didn't know what to send for her husband? We ended up making her a mixed arrangement with his favorite colours, blue and yellow. Not traditional, but right for him. She came back a week later to thank us and tell us it helped.
If you're reading this because you need to send sympathy flowers, trust your instinct about the person who died. Did they love bright colours? Send bright flowers. Were they traditional? Send white lilies. Did they garden? Send botanicals. Did they love Australia? Send natives.
The flowers matter less than the gesture. You're telling a grieving family that you're thinking of them, that their loved one mattered, that this loss is acknowledged. Any flower sent with genuine sympathy serves that purpose.
And if you're still unsure, call the florist. Tell them about the person who died. A good florist (like the ones we work with through Lily's Florist across Australia) will guide you to the right choice. That's what we did in the shop, that's what our partner florists do now. We've seen grief, we understand its weight, and we know which flowers help carry it.
Blog Categories
